Howdy gang!

Time for a new blog and I thought I'd post something that might assist you in some way, so I thought i'd do another one of my cut out and keep guides, this time round it's my official guide to the latest internet craze... Twitter! (Cue: trumpets and fanfare!!)

So what exactly is this Twitter mallarky then?

Move aside Bebo and Myspace, the latest social networking phenomenon has arrived and it goes by the name of 'Twitter'. Unlike its competitors, Twitter seems to have been given the thumbs up by it's celebrity users, with the likes of Jonathan Ross, Stephen Fry, Russell Brand and many others from the showbiz world updating their activities on a daily basis, sometimes their micro-blogs even make the news.

It still has a fair way to go to catch up to the social networking number one of Facebook, but after passing Bebo in the popularity stakes and Myspace loosing page views to rivals who knows how popular it could become?

How does Twitter work?

Basically, the best way to describe Twitter is as a list of "status updates" - a bit like what you see on Facebook, and you choose which ones you want to "follow", others can also choose to "follow" you. Each status update or "tweet" can be a maximum of 140 characters long, which doesn't seem a lot, but if Stephen Fry managed to make the headlines when he got trapped in a lift then it must be enough!

So, if you wanted to "follow" Stephen Fry and his lift antics you'd search for him, then click on "follow". His "micro-blog" or "tweets" would then appear on your main page, you can then add anyone else your interested in and their ramblings will also appear. If you add a few then they'll appear in chronological order.

Much like Facebook and Myspace, the site suffers from its fair share of abuse. It was reported that a brothel called 'House of Divine' has been advertising which girls are on-duty, and there are countless pretend celebrities springing up. Recently a fake Fern Britton was shopped by none other than co-host Phillip Schofield.

Which celebs are genuine?

Here's some of the real celebrities user names to get you started...

ALAN CARR - @alancarr.
BARACK OBAMA - @barackobama.
CHRIS MOYLES - @chrisdjmoyles.
DEMI MOOORE - @mrskutcher.
HOLLY WILLOUGHBY - @hollywills.
JAMES CAAN - @jamescaan.
JAMIE OLIVER - @jamie_oliver.
JOHN PRESCOTT - @johnprescott.
JORDAN - @misskatieprice.
JONATHAN ROSS - @wossy.
LIAM GALLAGHER - @liamgallagher.
LILLY ALLEN - @lillyroseallen.
PAUL DANIELS - @thepauldaniels.
PHILLIP SCHOFIELD - @schofe.
ROBIN WILLIAMS - @ roadrider57.
RUSSELL BRAND - @rustyrockets.
STEPHEN FRY - @stephenfry.
TONY BLACKBURN - @tonyblackburn.
WILLIAN SHATNER - @williamshatner.

Due to stars like the above hitting the headlines with their "tweets", traffic to Twitter has risen eightfold in the past year, more than doubled in the past three months and up 60% in the past month, although this is hard to measure acuratly due to people "tweeting" via SMS on their mobile.

What's all the jargon about?

Some of these celebs like to use twitter talk, and to make it easier for you I've listed some of the jargon below in a kind of twictionary if you will...

TWEET – a post on Twitter.
FOLLOWER – user who follows another person's tweets.
BLOCK – to stop someone's tweets and to stop them from seeing yours.
DM – direct message.
DWEET – tweet sent while drunk.
EGOTWEETICAL – someone who tweets about themselves too much.
FAIL WHALE – the whale character that appears on Twitter when the website is down.
HANDLE – your Twitter name, beginning with "@" (e.g. @djmikebrown).
ILLTWITERATE – someone who doesn't understand Twitter.
IM – instant message.
MICRO-BLOGGING – another phrase for tweeting.
MISTWEET – an error in a tweet, or a tweet you later regret.
NUDGE – a friendly reminder to someone to update their profile.
QWITTER – someone who stops using Twitter.
RETWEET – posting something that has already been posted by another user.
SPEETS – spam tweets.
TWADD – to add someone as a follower.
TWADDLE – boring tweets.
TWAGGLE – gaggle of followers.
TWEAVESDROPPING – reading strangers' conversations.
TWEEK – twitter geek.
TWEETERITIS – injury caused by too much twittering (e.g. sore fingers).
TWEETHEART – someone you fall in love with while tweeting.
TWEETOUT – to sign out.
TWENDY – something trendy on Twitter.
TWIRTING – flirting on Twitter.
TWITCH – the need to tweet.
TWITLIT – stories or poems posted via Twitter.
TWITTERATI – the A-list celebrity twitterers.
TWITTICISM – a witty tweet.
ATTWACTION – a crush on another twitterer.
140er – a tweet that uses exactly the maximum 140 characters.

In my opinion, Twitter seems to be more about celebrity blogs than social networking, at least on other sites you stand more chance of stumbling upon old school friends. Still, I haven't been a member for that long so I'm still learning, but I will continue to "dweet" until the next big thing comes along.

Why not join me and try it for yourself, log on to twitter.com and follow me @djmikebrown and use the above guide to help, oh and don't forget to have fun!

Mike - social networking geek.

Related Links:

• Twitter.com.
• obvious.com - creators of twitter.
• Facebook.com.
• Myspace.com.
• Bebo.com.